A Sincere Apology

This morning i had a realisation, a realisation about myself and how i act/behave.

I am not living as i believe.

I believe we all live in both a purely material world, that science does what it can to try and identify and understand, and at the same time we live in a purely spiritual world. I believe the spiritual world is ‘layered’ above or on top of, is an overlay of, that of the material. I believe God is the highest possible authority over both of these two worlds and it is to Him and Him alone that we ‘owe’ our allegiances.

I believe the Bible is divinely inspired and is the work of men.

I believe the key for us as human beings to having a full understanding of ourselves is to follow Jesus Christ, not only in the material but also in the spiritual worlds.

I believe i have no power or right or authority of myself with which i can change anyone else. This is not how i have been acting. I resolve to live more according to what i truly believe, as Christ can teach me. As I believe Christ can teach ANYONE.

Christ is never recorded as writing anything of himself and i therefore trust and have Faith that what others have written about Him is True and that He will help me divine truth from my own falsehood when considering what He is reputed to have said, by those who knew him, both in body and in spirit.

I have asked for and received wisdom such that i can see some of the falsehood i had surrounded myself with from my past and am making the attempt to replace my own foolishness – with help from ‘on High’.

So – to ANYONE with whom i have wrongly communicated, even through ‘good’ intentions (such as the road to hell is paved with) i humbly, sincerely and unreservedly apologise and offer my regret for any hurt caused.

I can’t yet promise i am perfect enough to not ever do it again, but anyone who feels like i have is free to refer me back to this post anytime.

Peace.

Bob.

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6 Comments

  1. Pingo

     /  11 April, 2013

    Got it. Want to say I love this as an invented generous conversation, as a creative act, as an access to being more authentic with others about who you really are.

    I love this s a declaration of who you say you are and what you say you can be counted on. 🙂

    Want to also say, as the truth, as a fact, as sincerity, which may not be in what you wrote at all but if it is, I am less interested.

    Reply
  2. Thank you Pingo! 🙂

    and i can live with that, if you can. 😉

    Reply
  3. I like this post and also don’t fully understand it at the same time (weird? Even possible? Like reading Vonnegut, Huxley, hunter S. Thompson. All metaphors or loops of metaphor wrapped around reality).

    It seems the first half you apologize to yourself (correct me if I’m wrong – which I know you will 🙂 and fully respect). It also feels not an apology post as a deceleration that contains an apology.

    Apologizing to those you “communicated poorly….hurt…” etc. is such admirable and selfish. Alcoholics and drug addicts in 12 step programs are required to do this, but they are told that it is not about or does not matter if the apology is accepted or not. Correct? It is unburdening yourself of what you have done – and by the way from your own perspective. I don’t recal from the NarAnon meetings for a family member if only an apology is necessary or if understanding, from the lips of the other, how and why they were hurt…?

    I also admire you standing on your virtual soapbox and declaring an apology ( which infers? Or Matter of factly states you know what you did wrong and not only do you regret the pain it caused but why. Not staying true to yourself is – about you – not about understanding the human experience. Again I don’t know or fully understand what you meant to get across there)

    Lastly, have you apologized to the ones you KNOW feel or at one time experienced pain at your hand, intentional or not? Have you understood why, not coming from your own creation of why, but theirs? Have you, to me is more important than “making and apology”, which is trivial by nature, but acted upon your apology. Shown you are sorry. Or does this part not matter because it has to do with the other person and how they experience whatever caused the Hurt in the first place, as opposed to you freeing yourself by stating you sorry your actions caused them pain. This opens you up but can have little effect on the other party. All of which makes me think Ping is on point about the “truth” of this post.

    I say this without suggesting that it is a lie or that you knew or purposely wrote it as such. It is genuine but is it true?

    Aye, thinking hurts my brain, exhausts my sould but energizes my core all at once! isn’t that miraculous!?

    Reply
  4. By way of explanation: Bob wrote A Sincere Apology with the prime intention of offering his apologies to ALL those, (not just those who read it) that Bob’s actions (writing mostly, but also speaking or through inaction when action could have ‘helped’) may have caused some hurt or offence. The apology itself did not seem like it explained why Bob would say what he said and so he gave the preamble by way of intending to show the basis for Bob’s ‘about face’ after some 50 years of living and behaving a certain way.

    I would agree that actions speak louder than words. ‘Words are cheap’ is a common expression in our society, said to imply that anyone can say ‘Sorry’, but that it has next to no value to anyone if it is not Sincerely said and felt truthfully.

    Bob’s preamble was intended to provide more assurance that what was being said was truthful and sincere.

    To the best of Bob’s knowledge, Bob has never intentionally harmed any living or dead human being. There have certainly been times when Bob was angered by the behaviour of another being and used harsh words in his communications, mostly with those people closest to him, family and lovers and he let those times go, not always offering any thing by way of apology. Bob knows also that what was said to some others with the intention of explaining what he was trying to express had been taken by them as more of an offence, even though in Bob’s eyes none was intended.

    If Bob tried to contact all of those people to find out what hurt he had ’caused’ and try to ‘make it right’ with them he would likely not have time to do anything else for the rest of his life. That is why Bob issued a ‘blanket’ apology on his blog.

    Bob will claim responsibility for his intentions and actions but not those of others – that is up to them.

    Bob agrees that to ‘fully’ apologise, some kind of atonement is necessary. Bob thanks AAB for helping him see the truth in that.

    Bob has to consider carefully what form that atonement should take.

    Reply
  5. Apologies are great. Understanding why the apology … is maybe needed or at least wanted or even why you think one should be given. How do you feel about that. Also, intention. I think I mention this before. So you believe some people apologize, even say they now understand the others pain, that some people apologize just because they know (from culture or what they were taught) that it is something people do, not because they are driven to do so from the heart (and are not actually sorry at all).

    Do you think some people do it just for image. So it seems they are sorry, so others view them as good people, that they are who they really in their hearts are not.

    How do you think we, as outsiders, who sincerely apologize, can tell the difference between.. all these if, ands, buts or whats?

    Reply
  6. Sorry, Bob can’t understand the question in the 3rd sentence above.

    Bob thinks it is LIKELY that some people do indeed apologise out of a desire more to be seen as being ‘nice’ by others than as a genuine feeling of sorrow for offence caused – but to KNOW for sure Bob would have to be that person and clearly he is not. Bob thinks perhaps the image others have of themselves is more important to some people than their actual substance is to them. Bob also believes that many people think the image they have of themselves IS the (only thing of any) substance and that leads to a lot of misery and dissatisfaction for them and for those they meet.

    By outsiders – do you mean anyone outside of myself (since you are asking Bob the question?) or in some other sense that Bob is not seeing here?

    Reply

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