I HATE STATION IDENTIFICATION!!!

Okay – let me ask you a question…

Is there a person alive on this planet who finds the seemingly never-ending repetition of a mind-numbingly dumb sequence of ‘adverts’ for some potentially impressive piece of tv viewing, that is about to be shown by the particular channel sometime within the next month, in any way appealing, or is likely to actually make them want to watch said piece of tv excre ‘excellence’?

Being an oldie i can remember the not-too-distant past of a couple of decades ago when there was only two or three TV commercial channels and the National Carrier (the formerly advert-free ABC in Australia). This was also a time when you could actually see the number of the channel you were watching brightly displayed on the set but NOT on the screen so it was neither necessary nor required to tell you what channel you were currently tuned in to.

Now, since there are almost 20 free-to-air channels in Australia and God-knows how many on cable and satellite, the TV Powers That Be have decreed that our screens have to have permanently (except during the ads!) burning into our led/plasmas a logo to tell us what ‘side’ ( to use an archaic, but appropriate, terminology) we are on at any given time of our viewing ‘pleasure’.

But this is not enough for the Station Overlords!  No.  It seems that once  (and recently it has increased to twice or even thrice) in EVERY SINGLE ADVERT BREAK (which themselves have increased in number over the years from 4 to 12 per hour) i am compelled to watch yet another repeat of a 30 second to 3 minute long ‘sneak peek presentation’ of  some machiavellian piece of evil purporting to be something unmissable ( how can you possibly miss it when they shove it down your throat 12 times an hour daily for 3 weeks?), all lovingly reinforced with an overly-loud soundtrack of either a recent popular musical hit song (but not since it was thrashed by the station) or the utterly contemptible 6 millionth repeat of the stations ‘jingle’!

I fully realise that the average mentality of your modern TV watching public has the attention-span of an ADHD 9 year old raised on a diet of red cordial and coke ™, combined with the IQ of a Weeties packet, but i refuse to believe even ONE of them actually likes hearing a station jingle 10 times every single hour of the day or feels MORE inclined to watch the latest drama/reality tv/cooking show ‘must-see’ series by reason of being brainwashed with the preview for a similar amount of broadcasting time.

Personally, (and i hope for the future of mankind on this planet that i am not alone in this) i find that there is a direct inverse relationship between the number of times i’m forced to endure such a waste of my viewing time and the likelihood that i will ever see the particular show that is being ruined through constant irritating repetition by preview.

It seems that during Tennis broadcasts and the Cricket (coincidentally, also the start of the ‘New Season’s Viewing’) are amongst the very worst offender’s of this particularly heinous viewing crime and is often made even worse (how can that even BE possible??) by the sickeningly sycophantic ramblings of the supposed ‘Sports’ commenters who are not only paid for their sporting expertese but now prostitute themselves to say how much they enjoy or are looking forward to the particular piece of ‘entertainment’ the station has just pushed yet again in the ‘break’. (Or – even more annoyingly now – during the actual sport in progress on some giant electronic screen in the game ground or even on the field)!

Having had my enjoyment of Football completely destroyed by total over-exposure on commercial TV and seeing the possibility of the same thing happening to Cricket and other sports coming, i am fortunate enough not to have much to complain about in this regard in any football code however, i suspect they are far from exempt from this particular bastardry.

It is TIME Brothers and Sisters! Time we, the long suffering tv viewing public, said long and LOUD… ENOUGH ALREADY!!

No more do we wish to be pummelled into a stupor by the multitude of preview repetition. Never again do we wish to hear that it is time to ‘Go! or that before us is a ‘Gem’. Stop confusing us and trying to suck viewers from the ABC by describing their ‘side’ as ‘ TWO ‘ when it is in reality Channel Seven in wolf’s clothing, Mate.

Turn off all those who treat you as morons incapable of realising what program you are watching or of using the inbuilt tv guide on your set to see what is on or coming up. Make the ratings plummet of those shows they ruin with overmany repetitions weeks before the program is due to commence.

Reclaim your viewing right to actually enjoy and relax during your rest time by TELLING those in charge that you object to their cutting down of your favourites to replace parts of them with unpaid for self-promotions and to the shameless cross-promotion during sporting contests.

It is only through being a tv critic that we can ever hope to get anything like decent satisfaction out of our tv sets.

Are ya with me??

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